Alcoholism and drug addiction can place someone in a very lonely place. Too often people who suffer from substance abuse distance themselves from loved ones and isolate. To them being alone seems better than being found out about how deep their addiction really is or having someone tell them to stop what they are doing. Their inebriated logic is that being alone is a choice that allows them to feed their obsession to continue getting high or drunk. The irony of this common situation for those who abuse drugs and alcohol is that they get in a bad way without the basic need of having a human connection.
When a person goes without contact with the people in their lives, the isolation will eventually eat them alive because loneliness is an emotion that not only darkens the soul but also negatively affects their mindset and creates physical pain. Having no connection with others means that an individual does not have the innate need to feel safe “amongst a pack”, or with humans, within a group. In this capacity, drinking and using drugs is merely a coping mechanism. Being intoxicated will not allow a person to be their true self because being under the influence inevitably changes a person’s behavior and mental state, making them rebuff the human connection altogether.
The good news is that life does not have to be permanently like this. If you are dealing with this type of scenario in your addiction, or even in your recovery, you can reconnect at any time you are ready and here are some pointers to use connection as your currency.
Be sober.
Whether you need to get sober or to stay sober, establish a program of recovery. Learn some tools that will assist your sobriety through working the steps, attending therapy, or entering a rehabilitation center for addiction treatment. Not only will you become happy, joyous, and free from taking these necessary measures, but you will be around others who will also participate in your recovery. Having a fresh perspective with recovery peeps can make a huge difference in learning how to have healthy connections with the other people in your life.
Be intentional.
Instead of waiting for someone to contact you, get numbers of individuals that you feel work a solid recovery program or call those who are good examples for your sobriety. You may feel awkward and introverted reaching out to others because of the shame and guilt surrounding your addiction. What you need to know is that those who are in recovery with you can relate to you from their own shame and guilt. The mentality of “it takes one to know one” applies here and can be extremely useful when you are taking the time to connect to others who are also struggling with their own addiction. Call someone and ask them how their day is, how they stayed sober, or to let them know that you are thinking of them. Taking time to be intentional about connecting with others could save your life and maybe theirs.
Be of service.
Nothing saves the day in recovery like doing things for others. Distracting yourself from the negative aspects of your addiction and aiming it at something more positive like being of service to others who need a boost will not only help them but make you feel good in the process. You could give someone a ride to a meeting, accept a meeting setup position, take calls for the phone committee, or volunteer at a soup kitchen to serve the homeless a hot meal. Anything that takes your mind selfishly off yourself onto someone else will unselfishly be a win-win for everyone involved.
Be kind.
Watch how you treat others and practice your recovery principles in all your affairs. People want to be around those who are easy-going and kind. No one should fault you for getting your bearings about you during new sobriety or a difficult time. The thing to consider is there is just not a good justification for bad behavior which could totally keep you from connecting with others if you are bad-tempered or chronically grumpy. Obviously, no one is perfect, and everyone has bad days. Remembering to be thankful for your sobriety is important because a grateful heart is attractive enough to help you make a connection with others who are also grateful.
Overall, the key to being connected to others is that you will experience more happiness having other people in your life rather than trying to go through life alone. Although you should not use others to find your own contentment, they are often the indicators that you need to find your path to genuine bliss. Take the opportunity to be on the journey for the true elation that is found in the connection that you have with others. Laughter, hugs, excitement to see each other will all bring you sheer delight that comes from the currency only found within the human connection.
Offering a full range of recovery and mental health services, Valiant Living offers “Expanded Recovery” to enrich our clients’ lives in mind, body, and spirit. Through evidence-based therapy options and the endless adventure of Colorado, Valiant fosters connection, encouraging clients to get connected to themselves, their peers, their families, and their higher power. With the power of recovery, clients are restored to full health and experience life-changing healing. Call us today for more information: 303-536-5463
