Vows are taken to solidify a marriage, but what that really entails is full of unknowns. There is no way to foresee how “in sickness and in health” will relate specifically to each married couple. While there may have been signs of addiction all along, there may be a time when everything that was going strong in your marriage hits the fan because your significant other was unable to stop using drugs or drinking alcohol on their own.
You came to a point where you had enough and told your spouse to seek treatment, or else the marriage could not continue. Now, your main worry is how your marriage will survive after treatment. You are afraid the dynamics will change due to their recovery and inevitably change your partner.
Trust the Process
Your fear about change is a typical concern because you are correct in understanding that everything will change, including your relationship. Cessation from drugs and alcohol is a process, and your job is to encourage and support, not criticize or push them. Once they are sober, there will be ups and downs that your relationship will encounter, but you can manage them if you trust the process of recovery.
Get Your Own Support
Your spouse’s drug and alcohol addiction is not your fault. However, their addiction will affect you and the other members of your family because addiction is duplicitous in every way imaginable. Seeking help through therapy or Al-Anon meetings can help you understand what you can do to stop enabling or displaying co-dependent behaviors while holding onto the bottom lines of what you expect to change with their behavior.
Gaining support from others who have been through the same highs and lows with their partner’s addiction can be encouraging and help you know that you are not alone.
Know the Truth
No one wants you to have to get a divorce to cope with addiction unless you are unsafe or being abused. The hope is that being in treatment will allow your significant other the opportunity to get and stay sober. With any marriage, there is a commitment to be upheld every single day to keep the relationship joyful and healthy.
You can persevere through anything together if you are on the same page and know that relapse is possible without a solid recovery. Your marriage will undoubtedly be different, but just know that all marriages evolve as the years continue to progress.
Choosing to support your loved one in their addiction recovery will strengthen your bond and show your unconditional love. Looking back and seeing that you did everything you could to help them will give you the ability to see your courage and tolerance.
More than just another rehabilitation facility, Valiant Living has created a safe landing place on your way to long-term recovery. We are focused on creating a home-like environment where you or your loved one will feel cared for, loved, and safe. That means surrounding our clients with the right people and helping them assess the best next steps. Offering a full range of recovery and mental health services, we offer “Expanded Recovery” to enrich our clients’ lives in mind, body, and spirit. Clients are restored to full health and experience life-changing healing with the power of recovery. Call us today for more information at (303) 536-5463.
